Do you realize how important it is to be and have a good friend? Assuming you are there when your friend needs you, are they there when you need them? What happens if you either deliberately or inadvertently say or write something to your friend that hurts their feelings?
Taking it another step further, what happens if you tell your friend the truth and it's not what he or she wants to hear? Perhaps you shared your feelings and your friend misinterpreted your words and intentions? Maybe they reached out to another person for their opinion, and a wedge was then put into your relationship, possibly destroying it forever? That hurts very deeply, I am sure. If your fears and issues had not entered the picture, would this relationship continued to go on unscathed? Probably not. More than likely something else would have come up over time to test this relationship. The issues in relationships are always there. Misunderstandings always happen. It's how we handle them that matters. Take care of yourself and take your time when dealing with your desire to express yourself. You should be able to live comfortably with the results of your verbal or written choices.
My mother used to say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I think she may have been right. No one likes confrontations. No one likes to be wrong. No one likes to feel that they have been taken advantage of, not been given a chance to apologize and have that apology accepted, or be given a chance to explain what they felt, what they did, and why.
The best thing you can do is to be thankful for the experience, understand that possibly your trust and fear issues may have gotten in the way, and maybe there was a good reason everything turned as it did. That's the hardest thing to accept because you may not have the answer to that for some time.
My intuitive and practical suggestions would be to accept that your relationship is no longer the same. This would allow both of you to find your own way in life -- focus on your own stuff and allow each of you to grow in different directions. Over time, you may realize that you had spent more time helping your friend achieve their dreams, and you had let your own languish, or was it the other way around?
Perhaps down the road, enough time and distance will allow you both to reconnect in a positive and forgiving way.
Is there a solution for this? I think so. I recommend learning to be comfortable in your own skin. These types of things will always happen. Own up to your words and know that as long as you live your life with honesty and integrity you can find peace in knowing you tried to do the right thing. In time, perhaps your friend may realize that you were only trying to express yourself, and you wanted to let them know how you felt. In the meantime, say a prayer or two for all of you, send them your love and good wishes for their journey and be grateful for having traveled that road on your journey through life.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Relationships - Mothers
A few days ago, I celebrated the 19th anniversary of my mother's death--her crossing over to the spiritual plane--the other side, if you will. I miss her, but at every turn in my life, there is some glimmer of her having been here. I look in the mirror and see traces of her looking back at me. In my behavior, personality, character traits--good and bad, I see her, too. I am the product of her genetic code to some extent.
I have been ruminating about the role mothers play in everyone's lives. Over the years, I have read cards and palms for hundreds of thousands of people. I have heard many people talk about their mothers and not all of what I heard was favorable. Not all of it was unfavorable either. Our humanity is what makes us who we are.
Now that I have reached the age where I embrace the concept of wisdom and cronehood, I see the relationship between a child and a mother in many different perspectives, and I can understand the various roles a mother (woman) plays in the lives of others.
Some of the roles mothers play are: friendly, loving, nurturing, suffocating, non-existent, toxic, drug- and/or alcohol-addicted, abusive in some way, supportive, aging, ill, and inspirational. Feel free to add your thoughts to this. What role your mother play in your life? Did it change as you did--as you grew older? If your relationship with her wasn't the way you wanted it to be, can you now accept the fact that she did the best she could?
Mothers often they deprive themselves or make sacrifices for their children. I know that there is an art to having and maintaining balance in your life if you have children or are a caretaker to an elderly parent or relative. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to mothering someone; it is a trial and error sort of thing. Babies do not come with instruction manuals.
Were you raised by the woman who gave birth to you? Were you abandoned? Adopted? Raised by a family member? Were you abused by whomever raised you? Did you raise yourself? What was your situation? Have you grown to be a positive contributing person to society as a result of your upbringing? I hope so.
Your obligation in life is to take the lessons you learned from the person who mothered or raised you, without blaming them for your shortcomings. Praise them for what they have done to help you become the person you are today, even if that was by abandoning you or abusing you.
My mother was a blamer. There are times, I blame people for things in my life. When I catch myself doing this, I stop, apologize, and ask to be forgiven. I hate being a blamer. However, I know that when someone has done something to me and I want to blame them for what happened, I look at myself to see why I allowed the situation to evolve the way it did and why I feel the way I do.
I acknowledge that I am a direct product my mother's programming and the programming of all people I encountered in my life. While I wish I had been more street-smart and less naive when I was growing up, I forged relationships based upon what I learned from her directly and indirectly. My lack of awareness when I was younger prevented me from making certain decisions. I have accepted the fact that I am the way I am. Any changes I make now depend upon how I re-program myself. I am a work in progress.
My mother knew how to squeeze a penny until it cried "please let me go!" She was beyond frugal. I am less frugal, but I also learned how to not deny myself things that I really, really want because of her. I learned to value things and I know what is necessary in my life and what is not. I understand her better now, and I have have a strong knowledge of life cycles--how things shift and change, and how we need to adapt and go with the flow.
While there is much I still need to learn, I credit my integrity and survival instincts to having been my mother's daughter, and I take responsibility for my actions. Unlike my mother, I am a square peg and I will not fit into a round hole. I will not make myself ill trying to please another person. I accept myself as a product of her belief systems and standards. I have also chosen to re-write the beliefs and standards that no longer serve me.
Regardless of your mother's shortcomings, addictions, issues, fears, etc. it is up to you to change your life for the better, and do the best you can with what you have experienced in order to live your life for yourself. Surround yourself with loving, supportive people and let the others go away, or send them away. How you handle these situations are unique unto you. Do the best you can with positive thoughts and work through your pain and anger. I know it is best to focus on positive thoughts and experiences only, so you can attract positive energy to you. What if you cannot? How do you process your pain, feelings of abuse and betrayal until you get to the point where you can let it go? Please comment and share them here.
I have been ruminating about the role mothers play in everyone's lives. Over the years, I have read cards and palms for hundreds of thousands of people. I have heard many people talk about their mothers and not all of what I heard was favorable. Not all of it was unfavorable either. Our humanity is what makes us who we are.
Now that I have reached the age where I embrace the concept of wisdom and cronehood, I see the relationship between a child and a mother in many different perspectives, and I can understand the various roles a mother (woman) plays in the lives of others.
Some of the roles mothers play are: friendly, loving, nurturing, suffocating, non-existent, toxic, drug- and/or alcohol-addicted, abusive in some way, supportive, aging, ill, and inspirational. Feel free to add your thoughts to this. What role your mother play in your life? Did it change as you did--as you grew older? If your relationship with her wasn't the way you wanted it to be, can you now accept the fact that she did the best she could?
Mothers often they deprive themselves or make sacrifices for their children. I know that there is an art to having and maintaining balance in your life if you have children or are a caretaker to an elderly parent or relative. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to mothering someone; it is a trial and error sort of thing. Babies do not come with instruction manuals.
Were you raised by the woman who gave birth to you? Were you abandoned? Adopted? Raised by a family member? Were you abused by whomever raised you? Did you raise yourself? What was your situation? Have you grown to be a positive contributing person to society as a result of your upbringing? I hope so.
Your obligation in life is to take the lessons you learned from the person who mothered or raised you, without blaming them for your shortcomings. Praise them for what they have done to help you become the person you are today, even if that was by abandoning you or abusing you.
My mother was a blamer. There are times, I blame people for things in my life. When I catch myself doing this, I stop, apologize, and ask to be forgiven. I hate being a blamer. However, I know that when someone has done something to me and I want to blame them for what happened, I look at myself to see why I allowed the situation to evolve the way it did and why I feel the way I do.
I acknowledge that I am a direct product my mother's programming and the programming of all people I encountered in my life. While I wish I had been more street-smart and less naive when I was growing up, I forged relationships based upon what I learned from her directly and indirectly. My lack of awareness when I was younger prevented me from making certain decisions. I have accepted the fact that I am the way I am. Any changes I make now depend upon how I re-program myself. I am a work in progress.
My mother knew how to squeeze a penny until it cried "please let me go!" She was beyond frugal. I am less frugal, but I also learned how to not deny myself things that I really, really want because of her. I learned to value things and I know what is necessary in my life and what is not. I understand her better now, and I have have a strong knowledge of life cycles--how things shift and change, and how we need to adapt and go with the flow.
While there is much I still need to learn, I credit my integrity and survival instincts to having been my mother's daughter, and I take responsibility for my actions. Unlike my mother, I am a square peg and I will not fit into a round hole. I will not make myself ill trying to please another person. I accept myself as a product of her belief systems and standards. I have also chosen to re-write the beliefs and standards that no longer serve me.
Regardless of your mother's shortcomings, addictions, issues, fears, etc. it is up to you to change your life for the better, and do the best you can with what you have experienced in order to live your life for yourself. Surround yourself with loving, supportive people and let the others go away, or send them away. How you handle these situations are unique unto you. Do the best you can with positive thoughts and work through your pain and anger. I know it is best to focus on positive thoughts and experiences only, so you can attract positive energy to you. What if you cannot? How do you process your pain, feelings of abuse and betrayal until you get to the point where you can let it go? Please comment and share them here.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Relationships - Staying Too Long at the Fair
I love to use the quote, "I stayed too long at the fair," when discussing relationships during the course of a reading. Four of the reasons people stay in relationships too long center around fear, love, trust and control issues.
Everyone in a love-oriented relationship wants to feel loved and secure. The desire to live happily ever after takes a lot of work, but there are times where no matter what you do, a relationship needs to end. How do we know when it is time to pull the plug? Is it easy to admit that a relationship is no longer viable? Can we acknowledge that we failed? Most people do not want to admit failure because that implies guilt and blame. If we can get past our emotions and not play (or stop playing) the blame game, we may realize that even though we love someone, we may have to say goodbye because our relationship no longer works. We are no longer happy.
Did we change? Is our partner resistant to change? Did we both change and discover that we no longer want the same things? People are unique and complicated. Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. Each piece will fit perfectly next to two or more pieces, but all of the pieces need to be present to create a complete picture. The more complicated the picture, the longer it will take for us to put all the pieces together properly. There are people in the world who do not have the patience to wait for things to come together. Others discover that not all of the pieces will fit together--an important piece is missing. I like to refer to this situation as an eight of cups moment. In Tarot, one of the simplest interpretations of this card is: walking away to seek what is missing. Searching for fulfillment or taking a chance so that one can find what one needs.
When is love no longer enough to keep two people together? There are some people who know when to leave a relationship before it gets ugly. Others leave when it gets ugly, and there are a few who stay no matter what.
Depending on your age or life experiences you enter into relationships for reasons that are unique to you. I know the type of man I would have chosen as my significant other in my early twenties is not the type of person I would choose today. We change and evolve. We become wiser. If our partners change and evolve in the same direction that we do, we are most fortunate. If not, then we enter the market again and search for the next suitable partner. This should be an adventure--a quest to find love. It is not an easy journey. This may be why some people stay in unhealthy relationships.
Life happens. We lose jobs. If our parents are still alive, we may need to become their caretakers. Children still need a good education in order to succeed in the world. Sometimes we may need to go back to school in order to re-educate ourselves because the work environment has forced us out of our comfort zone. Perhaps we were not really comfortable but we were marking time--waiting for our next opportunity. Often we stay in jobs we hate or that make us ill because we need financial security. Even our nest eggs (if we have them) may take a hit when the economy dips, or we lose our jobs. We worry about our future and those who depend upon us. We need to persevere because that is what we must do. No one has it easy all the time. We should never give up living when life deal us a particularly difficult hand. However, when it comes to relationships, we may have to give up. Knowing when to call it a day is not always easy.
Where am I going with this line of thinking? To the heart of the matter. It does not matter how much you love someone and how much they love you. If you are not getting what you need from a relationship, you need to take a moment to figure out what you want and what you are willing to settle for or accept from your partner. Have one or both of you stopped communicating? Are you the one who is closed off? Do you find yourself eating more, drinking more, smoking more, needing anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication because you are not getting what you need in this relationship? Is your partner doing this?
If this sounds like you, you need to make a list of the advantages of staying in this relationship and the advantages of leaving. Do the same thing with the disadvantages of both. Write down what is keeping you tied to your partner besides love or the amount of time you both have invested in this relationship.
Are you trying to control the outcome or fix this relationship by yourself? Is that what your partner is trying to do this? Recognize that when one person is finished, the relationship is finished. Stop trying to convince yourself that the other person can change. The only person who can change is you.
If you are in a situation where you may need to end a relationship, here are a few more things to think about. 1) Would you be happier with or without this person? 2) Can you get what you want from this relationship? 3) Are you able to give your partner what they need without resentment?
I hope these thoughts are helpful to you or someone you know who may be staying too long at the fair. If you have any ideas, comments or thoughts about this chapter in my Relationship Insight Series, I look forward to hearing them, responding to them, and I may possibly include them in a future blog entry.
Everyone in a love-oriented relationship wants to feel loved and secure. The desire to live happily ever after takes a lot of work, but there are times where no matter what you do, a relationship needs to end. How do we know when it is time to pull the plug? Is it easy to admit that a relationship is no longer viable? Can we acknowledge that we failed? Most people do not want to admit failure because that implies guilt and blame. If we can get past our emotions and not play (or stop playing) the blame game, we may realize that even though we love someone, we may have to say goodbye because our relationship no longer works. We are no longer happy.
Did we change? Is our partner resistant to change? Did we both change and discover that we no longer want the same things? People are unique and complicated. Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. Each piece will fit perfectly next to two or more pieces, but all of the pieces need to be present to create a complete picture. The more complicated the picture, the longer it will take for us to put all the pieces together properly. There are people in the world who do not have the patience to wait for things to come together. Others discover that not all of the pieces will fit together--an important piece is missing. I like to refer to this situation as an eight of cups moment. In Tarot, one of the simplest interpretations of this card is: walking away to seek what is missing. Searching for fulfillment or taking a chance so that one can find what one needs.
When is love no longer enough to keep two people together? There are some people who know when to leave a relationship before it gets ugly. Others leave when it gets ugly, and there are a few who stay no matter what.
Depending on your age or life experiences you enter into relationships for reasons that are unique to you. I know the type of man I would have chosen as my significant other in my early twenties is not the type of person I would choose today. We change and evolve. We become wiser. If our partners change and evolve in the same direction that we do, we are most fortunate. If not, then we enter the market again and search for the next suitable partner. This should be an adventure--a quest to find love. It is not an easy journey. This may be why some people stay in unhealthy relationships.
Life happens. We lose jobs. If our parents are still alive, we may need to become their caretakers. Children still need a good education in order to succeed in the world. Sometimes we may need to go back to school in order to re-educate ourselves because the work environment has forced us out of our comfort zone. Perhaps we were not really comfortable but we were marking time--waiting for our next opportunity. Often we stay in jobs we hate or that make us ill because we need financial security. Even our nest eggs (if we have them) may take a hit when the economy dips, or we lose our jobs. We worry about our future and those who depend upon us. We need to persevere because that is what we must do. No one has it easy all the time. We should never give up living when life deal us a particularly difficult hand. However, when it comes to relationships, we may have to give up. Knowing when to call it a day is not always easy.
Where am I going with this line of thinking? To the heart of the matter. It does not matter how much you love someone and how much they love you. If you are not getting what you need from a relationship, you need to take a moment to figure out what you want and what you are willing to settle for or accept from your partner. Have one or both of you stopped communicating? Are you the one who is closed off? Do you find yourself eating more, drinking more, smoking more, needing anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication because you are not getting what you need in this relationship? Is your partner doing this?
If this sounds like you, you need to make a list of the advantages of staying in this relationship and the advantages of leaving. Do the same thing with the disadvantages of both. Write down what is keeping you tied to your partner besides love or the amount of time you both have invested in this relationship.
Are you trying to control the outcome or fix this relationship by yourself? Is that what your partner is trying to do this? Recognize that when one person is finished, the relationship is finished. Stop trying to convince yourself that the other person can change. The only person who can change is you.
If you are in a situation where you may need to end a relationship, here are a few more things to think about. 1) Would you be happier with or without this person? 2) Can you get what you want from this relationship? 3) Are you able to give your partner what they need without resentment?
I hope these thoughts are helpful to you or someone you know who may be staying too long at the fair. If you have any ideas, comments or thoughts about this chapter in my Relationship Insight Series, I look forward to hearing them, responding to them, and I may possibly include them in a future blog entry.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Relationship Insights Series
What is the number one topic that people ask a psychic or professional Tarot reader? The obvious answer is love and relationships. Over a period of weeks, I will blog about various relationship issues that people encounter. Feel free to comment or email me with specific relationship-oriented questions, and I will provide information for you to think about in my intuitive, practical, no-nonsense manner in a future blog. Feel free to agree or disagree with me and offer your comments and insights, too. Those of you who know my work as an intuitive know that I can cut through the bull, present any situation for what it is, and provide more than one way to look at any situation so that you can choose the course of action that will best suit your life and personality.
Here's an example of what to expect in upcoming blog entries:
When I read Tarot cards at an event last year, a young woman asked me, "Can you tell me how my relationship is going to end?" I answered, "Did you want your relationship to end?" She stopped her dead in tracks. The stunned look on her face then turned to awareness.
How often do we let our emotions, fears, insecurities and doubts rule our lives? Probably far too often. I am certain you have heard people tell us that the energy we expend comes back to us--the positive and negative. While the manifestation process is not very complicated, what we often put into it is mixed energy. So, why are we surprised when the universe grants our wishes and we end up with things we don't want mingled with things we do want? We shouldn't be. We need to remember that everything comes about in its own time, and in the form that will best assist us in our personal growth.
Using the young lady mentioned above as an example, her fear that her relationship would end took precedence over what she really wanted to know. I felt that she wanted to know the following two things:
1) Am I going to live happily ever after?
and
2) Is my relationship is going to end?
I asked her, "Did you want me to tell you how to make your relationship flourish and what areas you need to work on to improve it? She said, "Yes." I proceeded to do just that, and I reminded her that her partner also needs to work on the relationship.
Her desire to live happily ever after and her fear that she might lose him created the compound question. Compound questions do not generate clean readings with Tarot or any other form of divination. Short, sweet and to the point generally works best for prayers, manifestation and when consulting a professional intuitive.
Stay tuned for the next installment in my Relationship Insight Series. Perhaps I will use one of your questions.
Here's an example of what to expect in upcoming blog entries:
When I read Tarot cards at an event last year, a young woman asked me, "Can you tell me how my relationship is going to end?" I answered, "Did you want your relationship to end?" She stopped her dead in tracks. The stunned look on her face then turned to awareness.
How often do we let our emotions, fears, insecurities and doubts rule our lives? Probably far too often. I am certain you have heard people tell us that the energy we expend comes back to us--the positive and negative. While the manifestation process is not very complicated, what we often put into it is mixed energy. So, why are we surprised when the universe grants our wishes and we end up with things we don't want mingled with things we do want? We shouldn't be. We need to remember that everything comes about in its own time, and in the form that will best assist us in our personal growth.
Using the young lady mentioned above as an example, her fear that her relationship would end took precedence over what she really wanted to know. I felt that she wanted to know the following two things:
1) Am I going to live happily ever after?
and
2) Is my relationship is going to end?
I asked her, "Did you want me to tell you how to make your relationship flourish and what areas you need to work on to improve it? She said, "Yes." I proceeded to do just that, and I reminded her that her partner also needs to work on the relationship.
Her desire to live happily ever after and her fear that she might lose him created the compound question. Compound questions do not generate clean readings with Tarot or any other form of divination. Short, sweet and to the point generally works best for prayers, manifestation and when consulting a professional intuitive.
Stay tuned for the next installment in my Relationship Insight Series. Perhaps I will use one of your questions.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Open Hearted
Today I asked for guidance from Sasha St. John's Gentle Wisdom of the Faerie Realms inspirational cards. (You can find her artwork and this deck at http://www.sashastjohn.com/) The first card I drew was Opportunities, but since I am in the process of creating beneficial opportunities and letting inappropriate opportunities pass me by, I asked for another card -- one in which I could focus on for inspiration and healing. As always, when I take a moment to focus, whatever deck of cards I choose -- Oracle or Tarot, it always supports me. The card that appeared on cue was entitled "Open Hearted."
I live Open Hearted. I need to protect my heart and emotions every day. Why? Because I am just hard-wired that way. I am a professional intuitive. I care about people who come to me for whatever reason. I want to help them. That is what makes me who I am. The Internet has provided us with an opportunity to find nearly anyone that we lost touch with over the years. What a wonderful gift we have been given -- the ability to reconnect with people from our past. On the other hand, sometimes we need to disconnect from people in our life, too.
Living with an open heart can create problems, because sometimes we hurt the people we love. Relationships are difficult because we have issues, hot buttons and wounds, and sometimes we let them get in the way. Today I lost a friend. I let her down in her time of need. What she may never know is that her pain was also mine. I let her terminate our friendship because I could no longer watch her make mistake after mistake. I turned into my mother. I am a know-it-all bitch. Oops. Did I make a mistake? Probably. I tried to share my wisdom and experience with her and explain why certain people do what they do, but she was unwilling to see my point of view. I still love her and will always have her in my prayers. I wish I could talk to some people in a way that does not hurt either of us, but being silent and not commenting is difficult for me.
I may be a strong person, but being an empath is not easy. I can be abrasive at times and I spew and vent and complain because that is how I get rid of the pain I feel from being an open-hearted, loving person. While I know this behavior is not considered healthy, I know it helps me release the pain I absorb. People who know me, know that I mean well and they understand that there are some things about me that I cannot change. It is not that I am unwilling to change, there are somethings that I just cannot change.
When I read for people who have relationship issues, I remind them that you cannot make people change. People will change if they want to, or if they can. When a relationship runs its course, it is because it has reached an impasse. I reached that point today. I could have accommodated my friend and made her feel good, but I just couldn't do it anymore. It was too painful for me to just listen and be "positive" because my realistic, practical side took over. I cannot change who I am. I acknowledge this fact. I can modify my behavior to a certain extent, but there comes a time when I cannot bend anymore. My close friends accept me as I am -- good, bad and indifferent, and I accept them exactly as they are, too.
The reason this friendship has come to an end is that I could not be the type of friend she needed/wanted. There are some personality traits that I possess that can be modified, but for the most part, I cannot walk on eggshells in any relationship for a long period of time. My close friends and others who know me, know my faults and understand that sometimes I am not a pleasant person. How does one protect an open heart? You do the best you can and hopefully that is enough. I would like to know how you protect your open heart and not feel such intense pain. Please share your thoughts and ideas with me. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Reflection on Self
The word reflection keeps popping into my head today as does the story of how Narcissus spurned all of his male and/or female suitors and was punished by the Goddess Nemesis. She made him fall in love with his own reflection. Realizing the beautiful boy he was looking at in the pool of water was his own reflection, Narcissus took his own life. Why do I mention Narcissus? I mention him because the movie, fashion, and advertising industries keep bombarding us with images and words that tell us we are not thin, rich, successful, attractive, or desirable enough. Low self esteem sells products. Simple.
Why do I mention this aspect of reflection? I mention it because when we look into a mirror, we generally do so to make certain that we look presentable before venturing out into the world. Can you pass a mirror without taking a quick look at yourself? If so, how many times do you pass it before you take a look? Looking in a mirror can provide you with a reality check. Does your reflection represent how you feel inside? Or is it distorted? What do you think when you see your own reflection? Are you pleased with your appearance? If not, you should stop dwelling on what you perceive to be your flaws. Everyone is unique and beautiful. Find something about yourself that is attractive. Chances are you will begin to feel better, stronger and happier once you see yourself in a different light. If you like what you see, then pat yourself on the back.
When we reach a certain age, we change. It is inevitable that we will become older versions of ourselves, and in some cases we will turn into our parents to a greater or lesser degree. We can stay young forever in our minds and hearts if we choose to do so. There are days when I feel ageless, and then again, there are days when I feel old. This is a fact of life and it is OK. Of course, there is Plastic surgery and its non-invasive treatments if someone wants change their external appearance. Superficial changes may make someone feel better about themselves, but it will not change what is going on inside of them. If we change ourselves from the inside out, we are doing the work we need to do. We need to keep learning and growing and changing. I believe that reflection is necessary for introspection--before action.
Most of the time, when I look into a mirror, I look beyond my appearance. When I do this, I start reflecting upon my past--specifically, what kept me from doing what I wanted to do when I was younger. I remember how my issues and my parents' programming prevented me from fully embracing life. They wanted to protect me. I was so sheltered and naive. I occasionally feel the pain and loss of many missed opportunities, but then again, I reflect upon the choices I did make. I am thankful for the person I have become. Know that your life experiences contribute to making you the person you are right now. You can change any aspect of your self except for those things that are hard-wired into you. However, you cannot make someone else change. They will have to change if this is what they want to do. Remember this. Reflect upon that fact that you can only change yourself and monitor your actions.
Reflect back on some of the decisions you made in the past that impacted the lives of others. Think about the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." Can you recall at least one incident in your life where you made a decision to do something unselfishly and helped someone? If you did, you helped make their life better. In that instance, you were an angel. You helped create a small miracle.
Now, take a moment to look at the decisions you may have made recently regarding your own life. If you haven't made any decisions yet, are you are at a turning point? If so look at your options. Write them down. Do a storyboard or flowchart of where each option can take you. If you reflect on your past choices and experiences, you may be able to see things more objectively and clearly. Your life has taught you many lessons about yourself and the people with which you interacted. Trust what you know, and in a short while you will be able to transform your life. Little by little. Do not be in a hurry. Time and delays can be extremely helpful. If in doubt, reflect back to a similar situation in your past. You will do well.
One more thought on reflection...
When you look into a mirror say the following: "Mirror mirror, who am I?" The mirror will not answer you. You may not recognize yourself, but a small voice inside of you will direct you to start healing your wounds and work on the issues that block you from your childhood and young adulthood. Trust that your inner child will help you do your work.
Why do I mention this aspect of reflection? I mention it because when we look into a mirror, we generally do so to make certain that we look presentable before venturing out into the world. Can you pass a mirror without taking a quick look at yourself? If so, how many times do you pass it before you take a look? Looking in a mirror can provide you with a reality check. Does your reflection represent how you feel inside? Or is it distorted? What do you think when you see your own reflection? Are you pleased with your appearance? If not, you should stop dwelling on what you perceive to be your flaws. Everyone is unique and beautiful. Find something about yourself that is attractive. Chances are you will begin to feel better, stronger and happier once you see yourself in a different light. If you like what you see, then pat yourself on the back.
When we reach a certain age, we change. It is inevitable that we will become older versions of ourselves, and in some cases we will turn into our parents to a greater or lesser degree. We can stay young forever in our minds and hearts if we choose to do so. There are days when I feel ageless, and then again, there are days when I feel old. This is a fact of life and it is OK. Of course, there is Plastic surgery and its non-invasive treatments if someone wants change their external appearance. Superficial changes may make someone feel better about themselves, but it will not change what is going on inside of them. If we change ourselves from the inside out, we are doing the work we need to do. We need to keep learning and growing and changing. I believe that reflection is necessary for introspection--before action.
Most of the time, when I look into a mirror, I look beyond my appearance. When I do this, I start reflecting upon my past--specifically, what kept me from doing what I wanted to do when I was younger. I remember how my issues and my parents' programming prevented me from fully embracing life. They wanted to protect me. I was so sheltered and naive. I occasionally feel the pain and loss of many missed opportunities, but then again, I reflect upon the choices I did make. I am thankful for the person I have become. Know that your life experiences contribute to making you the person you are right now. You can change any aspect of your self except for those things that are hard-wired into you. However, you cannot make someone else change. They will have to change if this is what they want to do. Remember this. Reflect upon that fact that you can only change yourself and monitor your actions.
Reflect back on some of the decisions you made in the past that impacted the lives of others. Think about the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." Can you recall at least one incident in your life where you made a decision to do something unselfishly and helped someone? If you did, you helped make their life better. In that instance, you were an angel. You helped create a small miracle.
Now, take a moment to look at the decisions you may have made recently regarding your own life. If you haven't made any decisions yet, are you are at a turning point? If so look at your options. Write them down. Do a storyboard or flowchart of where each option can take you. If you reflect on your past choices and experiences, you may be able to see things more objectively and clearly. Your life has taught you many lessons about yourself and the people with which you interacted. Trust what you know, and in a short while you will be able to transform your life. Little by little. Do not be in a hurry. Time and delays can be extremely helpful. If in doubt, reflect back to a similar situation in your past. You will do well.
One more thought on reflection...
When you look into a mirror say the following: "Mirror mirror, who am I?" The mirror will not answer you. You may not recognize yourself, but a small voice inside of you will direct you to start healing your wounds and work on the issues that block you from your childhood and young adulthood. Trust that your inner child will help you do your work.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Be mindful of your thoughts
My friend, Cindy Gardner, an intuitive living in Washington State channels angels. During a conversation we had a few years ago, she said, "When you ask the angels for help, the response is instantaneous." She was right because they responded immediately when I asked them for a universal message, today. In a flash I heard the following: "Be Mindful of Your Thoughts!"
When you say a prayer, to whom do you direct your request? Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, Goddesses, Saints, Angels, Archangels, or some other entity? I notice that I am inconsistent when I direct my prayers out into the universe or ask for divine help. The direction of each request tends to be organic. The statement, "Be mindful of your thoughts," is very simple. What you think you can create, you can. Sometimes the end result may not be exactly what you wanted.
Whenever you find negative or dark thoughts creeping in, recognize the power contained within them. Feel the darkness for a moment. Contemplate where obsessing or focusing on them will take you. If you don't like that place, think about how you can shift your energy so you can bring yourself out of darkness and negativity into the light, loving embrace of the wings of an angel.
It is almost impossible to ignore negativity, especially when it appears front and center in our lives. We just need to find a way to balance the light and dark energies. Every day, I am aware of my thoughts as well as those of others. We cannot escape into a fantasy life, but we can have our fantasies to escape into for a brief moment or two. Wishes and fantasies can come true, but we must be mindful of how we create them.
Six and a half years ago, I said, "The only way I was going to adopt any cats while Dante (my then 19-year-old cat) was alive was if they showed up on my doorstep and were black, Siamese, gray, or gray tabbies with white bellies." One morning, I discovered a starving gray mother cat with four kittens--two Siamese and two grays on the balcony behind my resident manager's apartment--all long haired. I should have said short haired. All kittens and their mom ended up with loving homes. Looking back in retrospect, I should have been a bit more specific in my thought and request. I have never regretted adopting the two Siamese boys for a moment.
Be mindful of your thoughts...and words! Angels listen and the gifts you receive may not quite be what you really want, but it can be a small miracle and eventually you can see the value in those gifts. You have the ability to transform, learn and bring into your life what you want! Be more specific and watch the conjunctions and negative verbiage.
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