Open Hearted

Today I asked for guidance from Sasha St. John's Gentle Wisdom of the Faerie Realms inspirational cards. (You can find her artwork and this deck at http://www.sashastjohn.com/) The first card I drew was Opportunities, but since I am in the process of creating beneficial opportunities and letting inappropriate opportunities pass me by, I asked for another card -- one in which I could focus on for inspiration and healing. As always, when I take a moment to focus, whatever deck of cards I choose -- Oracle or Tarot, it always supports me. The card that appeared on cue was entitled "Open Hearted."

I live Open Hearted. I need to protect my heart and emotions every day. Why? Because I am just hard-wired that way. I am a professional intuitive. I care about people who come to me for whatever reason. I want to help them. That is what makes me who I am. The Internet has provided us with an opportunity to find nearly anyone that we lost touch with over the years. What a wonderful gift we have been given -- the ability to reconnect with people from our past. On the other hand, sometimes we need to disconnect from people in our life, too.

Living with an open heart can create problems, because sometimes we hurt the people we love. Relationships are difficult because we have issues, hot buttons and wounds, and sometimes we let them get in the way. Today I lost a friend. I let her down in her time of need. What she may never know is that her pain was also mine. I let her terminate our friendship because I could no longer watch her make mistake after mistake. I turned into my mother. I am a know-it-all bitch. Oops. Did I make a mistake? Probably. I tried to share my wisdom and experience with her and explain why certain people do what they do, but she was unwilling to see my point of view. I still love her and will always have her in my prayers. I wish I could talk to some people in a way that does not hurt either of us, but being silent and not commenting is difficult for me.

I may be a strong person, but being an empath is not easy. I can be abrasive at times and I spew and vent and complain because that is how I get rid of the pain I feel from being an open-hearted, loving person. While I know this behavior is not considered healthy, I know it helps me release the pain I absorb. People who know me, know that I mean well and they understand that there are some things about me that I cannot change. It is not that I am unwilling to change, there are somethings that I just cannot change.

When I read for people who have relationship issues, I remind them that you cannot make people change. People will change if they want to, or if they can. When a relationship runs its course, it is because it has reached an impasse. I reached that point today. I could have accommodated my friend and made her feel good, but I just couldn't do it anymore. It was too painful for me to just listen and be "positive" because my realistic, practical side took over. I cannot change who I am. I acknowledge this fact. I can modify my behavior to a certain extent, but there comes a time when I cannot bend anymore. My close friends accept me as I am -- good, bad and indifferent, and I accept them exactly as they are, too.

The reason this friendship has come to an end is that I could not be the type of friend she needed/wanted. There are some personality traits that I possess that can be modified, but for the most part, I cannot walk on eggshells in any relationship for a long period of time. My close friends and others who know me, know my faults and understand that sometimes I am not a pleasant person. How does one protect an open heart? You do the best you can and hopefully that is enough. I would like to know how you protect your open heart and not feel such intense pain. Please share your thoughts and ideas with me. Thank you.

Reflection on Self

The word reflection keeps popping into my head today as does the story of how Narcissus spurned all of his male and/or female suitors and was punished by the Goddess Nemesis. She made him fall in love with his own reflection. Realizing the beautiful boy he was looking at in the pool of water was his own reflection, Narcissus took his own life. Why do I mention Narcissus? I mention him because the movie, fashion, and advertising industries keep bombarding us with images and words that tell us we are not thin, rich, successful, attractive, or desirable enough. Low self esteem sells products. Simple.

Why do I mention this aspect of reflection? I mention it because when we look into a mirror, we generally do so to make certain that we look presentable before venturing out into the world. Can you pass a mirror without taking a quick look at yourself? If so, how many times do you pass it before you take a look? Looking in a mirror can provide you with a reality check. Does your reflection represent how you feel inside? Or is it distorted? What do you think when you see your own reflection? Are you pleased with your appearance? If not, you should stop dwelling on what you perceive to be your flaws. Everyone is unique and beautiful. Find something about yourself that is attractive. Chances are you will begin to feel better, stronger and happier once you see yourself in a different light. If you like what you see, then pat yourself on the back.

When we reach a certain age, we change. It is inevitable that we will become older versions of ourselves, and in some cases we will turn into our parents to a greater or lesser degree. We can stay young forever in our minds and hearts if we choose to do so. There are days when I feel ageless, and then again, there are days when I feel old. This is a fact of life and it is OK. Of course, there is Plastic surgery and its non-invasive treatments if someone wants change their external appearance. Superficial changes may make someone feel better about themselves, but it will not change what is going on inside of them. If we change ourselves from the inside out, we are doing the work we need to do. We need to keep learning and growing and changing. I believe that reflection is necessary for introspection--before action.

Most of the time, when I look into a mirror, I look beyond my appearance. When I do this, I start reflecting upon my past--specifically, what kept me from doing what I wanted to do when I was younger. I remember how my issues and my parents' programming prevented me from fully embracing life. They wanted to protect me. I was so sheltered and naive. I occasionally feel the pain and loss of many missed opportunities, but then again, I reflect upon the choices I did make. I am thankful for the person I have become. Know that your life experiences contribute to making you the person you are right now. You can change any aspect of your self except for those things that are hard-wired into you. However, you cannot make someone else change. They will have to change if this is what they want to do. Remember this. Reflect upon that fact that you can only change yourself and monitor your actions.

Reflect back on some of the decisions you made in the past that impacted the lives of others. Think about the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." Can you recall at least one incident in your life where you made a decision to do something unselfishly and helped someone? If you did, you helped make their life better. In that instance, you were an angel. You helped create a small miracle.

Now, take a moment to look at the decisions you may have made recently regarding your own life. If you haven't made any decisions yet, are you are at a turning point? If so look at your options. Write them down. Do a storyboard or flowchart of where each option can take you. If you reflect on your past choices and experiences, you may be able to see things more objectively and clearly. Your life has taught you many lessons about yourself and the people with which you interacted. Trust what you know, and in a short while you will be able to transform your life. Little by little. Do not be in a hurry. Time and delays can be extremely helpful. If in doubt, reflect back to a similar situation in your past. You will do well.

One more thought on reflection...

When you look into a mirror say the following: "Mirror mirror, who am I?" The mirror will not answer you. You may not recognize yourself, but a small voice inside of you will direct you to start healing your wounds and work on the issues that block you from your childhood and young adulthood. Trust that your inner child will help you do your work.

Be mindful of your thoughts

My friend, Cindy Gardner, an intuitive living in Washington State channels angels. During a conversation we had a few years ago, she said, "When you ask the angels for help, the response is instantaneous." She was right because they responded immediately when I asked them for a universal message, today. In a flash I heard the following: "Be Mindful of Your Thoughts!"

When you say a prayer, to whom do you direct your request? Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, Goddesses, Saints, Angels, Archangels, or some other entity? I notice that I am inconsistent when I direct my prayers out into the universe or ask for divine help. The direction of each request tends to be organic. The statement, "Be mindful of your thoughts," is very simple. What you think you can create, you can. Sometimes the end result may not be exactly what you wanted.

Whenever you find negative or dark thoughts creeping in, recognize the power contained within them. Feel the darkness for a moment. Contemplate where obsessing or focusing on them will take you. If you don't like that place, think about how you can shift your energy so you can bring yourself out of darkness and negativity into the light, loving embrace of the wings of an angel.

It is almost impossible to ignore negativity, especially when it appears front and center in our lives. We just need to find a way to balance the light and dark energies. Every day, I am aware of my thoughts as well as those of others. We cannot escape into a fantasy life, but we can have our fantasies to escape into for a brief moment or two. Wishes and fantasies can come true, but we must be mindful of how we create them.

Six and a half years ago, I said, "The only way I was going to adopt any cats while Dante (my then 19-year-old cat) was alive was if they showed up on my doorstep and were black, Siamese, gray, or gray tabbies with white bellies." One morning, I discovered a starving gray mother cat with four kittens--two Siamese and two grays on the balcony behind my resident manager's apartment--all long haired. I should have said short haired. All kittens and their mom ended up with loving homes. Looking back in retrospect, I should have been a bit more specific in my thought and request. I have never regretted adopting the two Siamese boys for a moment.

Be mindful of your thoughts...and words! Angels listen and the gifts you receive may not quite be what you really want, but it can be a small miracle and eventually you can see the value in those gifts. You have the ability to transform, learn and bring into your life what you want! Be more specific and watch the conjunctions and negative verbiage.

Tolerance for the religious or spiritual beliefs of others

I was by raised parents who made a lot of mistakes along the way. I remember how my dad asked me several times when I was in my late teens and early twenties, "Did I do right by you girls?" I told him, "Yes, you did." He really did. He walked his talk no matter how difficult it may have been at one time or another. He had a problem with parents who had a double-standard. He said, "I don't want to tell my kids to do as I say, not as I do." For the most part, if he did something, we could too. He did his best to set a good example for us.

I believe we have agreements prior to our birth--we choose our parents, siblings and connection to other individuals. Everything is for personal growth and life path. We are constantly cleaning up and creating karma. I give my dad credit for helping me form my beliefs. He was a spiritual man whose father could have been a rabbi, but due to the practicality of the era in which he lived, grandpa Rappaport became a tailor. If things had been different, my father would have been a professional psychic and metaphysical teacher. Instead, I have become what he was unable to do, plus I teach Tarot.

Tarot is one of my greatest passions in the world--if not the greatest. I am most fortunate to be able to share my knowledge of Tarot and intuitive gifts with others. My students and clients come from every conceivable background that exists except for the very devout and born-again religious people. Some individuals judge me as an evil person because of my work with Tarot and my unconventional beliefs. What a shame. Their minds are closed, and they have become intolerant of the beliefs of others. Do I intend to do them harm? Never. Do they accept the religious teachings their spiritual leaders provide to them without questioning? I think so.

I went to Sunday School, Hebrew School, learned a little Hebrew, and had my Bat Mitzvah when I was thirteen. I am still in awe of the power and energy that radiates from a group of people gathered in a synagogue praying during a Sabbath or Holiday service. While I have attended other houses of worship, I don't feel the same way I do when I am in a synagogue. Perhaps that is because of my upbringing. Of course, I don't attend services regularly anymore. I practice what has been taught to me--live an honest, good life on a day-to-day basis.

I have attended other houses of worship and while most of their services do not resonate with me, I am always delighted to see their icons, stained glass windows and feel the energy of their prayers. Prayer is power. Prayer is love. All beliefs should be respected provided they do not include causing harm to others. Perhaps that is why I see Wicca as something very special--a nature religion that believes we should "Harm no one." Wicca is not evil nor is Tarot. In our world today, religious persecution still continues.

I know that the power of the Creator is everywhere and if I reach out in thought and/or prayer I will feel an immediate response. Is it from an angel, archangel, fairy, deceased loved one, saint, spirit guide, or God/Goddess himself/herself? I do not know. Does it matter? Not to me. It's the power of love. I still pray for world peace.

When I do a reading for someone either privately or at an event, I do not judge them. My job is to entertain, enlighten and empower them so they can make the best, possible decisions they can when dealing with life situations. While I may not personally approve of someone's actions, I neither condemn them, nor do I preach to them in any way. I try to present all sides of a situation, and provide them with enough information and ideas so they can move forward. My prayer for them is that they will make the best possible choice in whatever situation they find themself. They have free will. I always pray that I have "done the right thing by each and every person who sits down with me for a reading."

I have adopted the term: God/Goddess/Creator when referencing a higher power than humanity. I have read for people of the following faiths: Jewish, Catholic, Christian, Russian/Greek Orthodox, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Unitarian. I have also read for agnostics. While there are other religions in the world, I have not encountered them in my travels. However, I am open to being of service to them in a universal way.

I really want to love, honor and respect all people in the world, but I am wise enough to know that this can never be because there are people who hurt and/or murder with no conscience, or in the name of religion. Those who do so in the name of religion are referred to as terrorists. Not all people will like us. There will be people that we will not like. Tolerance of bad behavior is not the same thing as tolerance of the religious and spiritual beliefs of others.

To quote Anne Frank, "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death. " For other quotes from Anne Frank, please visit this link: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/anne_frank.html.

In summary, we need to be more tolerant of the beliefs of others as long as they are not harmful to someone's physical well being.

At the Crossroads - Using the Majors to Create a Path

Crossroads. This word provides me with a richness of images. The first image that comes to mind is when Dorothy reaches the end of The Yellow Brick Road and she must choose a direction so she can get to the Emerald City to meet The Wizard of Oz. Many of us are finding ourselves at a crossroads right now. We have a decision to make about one or more aspects of our lives and we are running out of time and/or financial resources. I wish I was blessed with the ability to provide people with the right answer. Unfortunately, that would go against my ethics. I cannot take away someone's right to choose--their free will must prevail. What I enjoy doing is providing enough information to individuals so they can see their options. It is up to them to sort through this information and make a decision. Once they make their decision, they will need to find some way to go forward and follow through. Should someone go left, right or continue on the path that they are currently traversing? Once a choice is made, only time will tell if the right path was chosen.

Are you at a crossroads?The important thing about choosing a direction is to take the time and combine all of your available resources so you have a wide range of information to sift through that will assist you in making your decision. Using the Tarot to illustrate the process for moving ahead I would hand pick the following cards to help you.

The first card I would choose is The Fool. He reminds us that anything is possible and we will be just fine--we are on a journey. We are taking a chance on life...on a path...we are willing to embrace life. All of life is a journey. His backpack contains all of the information and tools he needs to make a decision. He can deal with anything that comes along, and so can we. Now, we must decide where we want to go. We need to use the information we have available to us. Do we have a plan or a map in place? We may have difficulty moving forward if we don't have structure and organization?

Why not choose The Hierophant next. He has the keys to knowledge and information. With our computers, we can obftain tons of information. Google whatever you need to know. Talk to people. Sometimes someone else's point of view can provide input or feedback that could be very valuable. Ultimately, we may end up with just one plan, or we may have several plans to choose from. The Hierophant can help us streamline our thinking. With him on our side, we may be able to save time once we are ready to move forward. Keep it simple.

Once we have a plan or several in place, why not choose The Hermit to help us next. He represents the need to go within and tap into our inner wisdom. Introspection allows us to see the many different roads that are available to us and where those roads may take us. By using intelligence and logic, we can determine the pros and cons of each possible choice. Once we have refined our list of possible options, the next card we might want to choose would be The Wheel of Fortune. This card allow us to see what karma we may create or resolve in addition to determining the time frame for manifestation. This brings us to the the following questions that we want answered. How long will it take us to get to our destination? How can we deal with the limitations or road blocks that may show up? Sometimes we may decide that a particular option is not worth pursuing. Using the Wheel of Fortune, we may be able to hone in on one or two opportunities that we can happily pursue in a time frame that we can embrace comfortably.

Once we have a few possibilities that may work for us, why not choose The Lovers card. Normally, this card is not a typical choice for this situation. If we have people who love us and have our best interests at heart, we can go to them for love, support, and get their feedback--and perhaps, their advice. In other words, this is our support network. If we have some sort of self-esteem issue, we need to "love ourselves" enough to check in with our emotions to see how we feel about the options that are front and center. We are responsible for our choice(s)--not our loved ones. Depending on our decision(s), we may make them happy or we may make them angry. We need to live for ourselves, so we need to keep that in mind when we make our final decision.

Why not choose The High Priestess to help us at the next checkpoint. She symbolizes our ability to get in touch with our intuition. While she may not represent logic, she is a logical choice for this stage of our journey. She can help us to see between the lines. She will connect us to our intuition. I often refer to our intuition as the director of our lives. She reminds us that we need to balance our intellect, emotions and intuition to make a sound, choice that will resonate with us.

Once we make our choice, we might want to connect to The Magician. He is the master creator--the alchemist. Through his mind he can create anything. Our destiny depends on him being able to use his will to create magic. We can also call him a miracle worker. By utilizing his powers, we know we can manifest what we want.

Choosing The Star next would be important because it is the card of hope and optimism. This is where prayer and meditation can provide comfort and allow the angels, archangels, Gods, Goddesses, and the Creator to assist The Magician. At this point, the divine is really in charge. There is only so much we can do without their assistance. While we are waiting for divine help, more than likely we will need to apply a little Temperance. Why? Because most of the time, things do not generally happen when we want them to; they happen in their own, perfect time. When we tend to get a little impatient, we need to exercise a little temperance. Choosing our words carefully might be helpful here, too.

If we discover that our plans are not quite working for us, we can always recycle back to The Hierophant in order to re-structure. Perhaps we may need to make our plan of action a bit more flexible..or not.

At this point, why not revisit The Star before we take a ride on The Chariot. The Star will reconnect us to the divine and that may be just what we need if things take a bit longer to manifest than we anticipate. While The Chariot leads us to our destination and a new phase of life, it also provides us with courage and protection, too. Extra protection. Love it! Why shouldn't we head into a successful phase of our lives? What card would you choose to have after The Chariot? What card feels appropriate to you?

Would you choose The Empress for giving birth to a new project and/or staying grounded? Would you consider her as the harvest card? Would you reach out to someone in order for them to nurture you? Would you nurture yourself?

Would you choose The Sun for a new beginning?

Would you choose Judgment for a rebirth and a different type of new beginning--one that will allow you to re-invent yourself and/or leave your past behind you? Could this be a new beginning where you get a second chance to do something you always wanted to do? Could this be an opportunity to revisit something that you stopped doing because of some type of family obligation?

Or, would you choose The World for unlimited opportunities and a chance to embrace _______ (fill in the blank)?

Whatever card you choose, add a companion card of your choice for guidance. Tell me what cards you would choose with/without a companion card and why. I want to know!

The Tower

In Tarot, I find many different interpretations for The Tower. While this has not been a card that has appeared in many of the readings I have performed over the past few years, it has been coming up frequently in the readings I have done for my friends, clients and at events. Since this card has been on my mind a lot lately, I decided I would present a few ideas regarding its interpretation.

When 911 occurred, many Tarotists saw The Tower as representing the airplanes striking the twin towers in New York City. While I seldom interpret this card as an actual physical event, I generally see it as the emotional and internal struggles one experiences when an event occurs or is about to occur--anxiety and stress. Many Little White Books ("LWBs") or books on Tarot see it as a chaotic, possibly catastrophic event. Because I read intuitively, I am never locked into any LWB or reference interpretation with The Tower.

As I teacher, I notice that the cards will present themselves, in whatever layout is selected, in manner that supports someone's individual style of interpretation. Over time, everyone's way of interpreting should continue to expand, change and evolve. I know my ability to interpret has changed quite a bit since I first picked up a deck when I was 15 years old. I love to tease my students after they interpret a reading. I swoop in and show them another perspective on how to interpret the cards--an overlay sometimes, and who knows what. When they pick their jaws up off the floor, I tell them, "that's why I'm the professional." To me, interpreting Tarot is like a puzzle. How many accurate pieces of information can we mine from the cards selected? It varies. That's what I find so exciting about Tarot.

I performed a reading for someone, recently, in connection with a possible home foreclosure. Interestingly enough, The Tower showed up front and center. This indicated to me that there would, indeed, be a foreclosure on her home. Why did The Tower appear instead of the Three of Swords, the Death card, or the Ten of Swords--all loss cards? For me, this was not just a termination of her residence and a fresh start or just a plain termination--at least at this point in time. Using practical knowledge, a foreclosure doesn't just happen out of the blue. It is a process, starting with a preforeclosure notice. It follows a legal time frame, and depending upon the bank's ability to sell the home, may or may not give someone additional time to vacate the premises and find a place to live, etc. Since this was a chaotic situation The Tower was perfect. It showed strong emotional, mental and physical consequences related to an action or event.

The individual called me back to inform me that The Tower moment for the day was the fact that her trash bag broke and the trash men left it and its spewed contents--several pounds of used kitty litter (ewww) in the driveway for her to clean up. While this could be considered a good explanation of The Tower, I was dumbfounded. Her interpretation seems valid to me, however, using Tarot to explain something mundane as a trash mishap is not something I consider Tarot worthy. OK, so I am a Tarot snob and proud of it.

For me, interpreting The Tower and its surrounding cards is about providing an accurate interpretation that can help someone when they are dealing with a chaotic situation or the emotional "stuff" related to that situation or event.

In terms of the above-referenced individual's reading with The Tower as the focal point, she did receive a feel-good moment as an outcome. It was paired beautifully it with the Six of Wands. With the Six, she will be able overcome whatever catastrophe The Tower represents in terms of her foreclosure and make the outcome a positive experience. Of course, if she had received some other feel-good card instead of the Six, there would have been more information for her to use. However, she's pretty much a cut-and-dried type of person who favors yes/no answers. Most people know that I do not really do those types of readings. However, this was the closest I came to giving her a yes/no. What other cards that represents growth or happiness, or any positive Major Arcana card such as The Sun or the World would you pull to pair with The Tower and how would you interpret it? I'd like to know.

Resonance

Today’s word is resonance. When I say a word or statement resonates, I imply that it not only makes sense, but it strikes a chord within. It “feels” right. It belongs. We are connecting to words, ideas, and more—in a powerful way. There is a vibration taking place that transports us somewhere for a moment—deep within our soul. We “know” that something fits—that it is right for us. Resonance—a powerful feeling!

My mother used to talk to me about how difficult her life was during the Great Depression and World War II. She explained how she and her parents had to do without things because they barely had two nickels to rub together. She hoped her children would not have to experience what she did during those times. Because she lived through difficult financial times, she learned how to stretch her money and meals. She was thrifty, not cheap. She had to be. She taught me the value of a dollar, and if I wanted something, I waited…and waited to get it. However, whenever we needed something, she managed to find a way for us to get it. She frequently said. “All comes to he who waits.” In some cases, that is what planting seeds for the future is all about. Realistically speaking, sometimes we need to go out and grab what we want because it doesn’t always come to us if we wait. In this case, waiting is known as a missed opportunity.

An example of taking action was when I looked for my current apartment. I did my homework first. I called the resident manager and found out what I needed to bring with me in case I wanted the apartment—it resonated with me. Well, I found the one I wanted. I swooped in and grabbed it. I had my money order for a credit check, all of the necessary financial paperwork with me, and I filled out the application on the spot. That’s where the expression “Time and tide waits for no man” resonated for me. I learned when to wait and when to move—nay, swoop.

Why am I talking about my mother, lack of money, apartment hunting, and planting seeds? It is very simple. History repeats itself. Sooner or later, things and situations occur and it feels like déjà vu. I see how the wheel of life moves, how cycles repeat, and how the law of karma works. The lessons my mother taught me does resonate…on a practical level. Then there is resonance on a spiritual level—for me, it is Tarot.

My Tarot class last night was full of surprises. I am always amazed how each group starts out now knowing one another and ends up bonding beautifully over the course of six weeks. It is rewarding to see how the material I present resonates with a diverse group of individuals. I am truly blessed because I am able to enlighten people and show them the joy of Tarot.

More resonance! I worked several events over the past few weeks—a few grad nights, a Birthday party, and two corporate events. Each group of individuals I read for (Tarot and/or palms) was unique. My job was to interpret the information I received and make it fit each individual in a manner that resonated with them. I did. This is what I do.

Someone once asked me how I felt about using my intuitive gifts for money. My reply was simple. My gifts have been given to me and to not use them would be a waste. I do not abuse my gifts. I use them to entertain people and provide information that can help them—information that resonates with them. My mother often told me that people do not readily accept or listen to advice unless they pay for it. People must value the work you do. If not, why would someone consult us or stand in line for an hour at a party to have us read for them? The answer is simple—we perform a service. When I pick up a Tarot deck or hold someone’s hand and look at their palm, I am offering to share my gifts in a positive manner to help them—with love and understanding. If what I tell someone resonates with them, then I have done an excellent job. I know my mother would be proud of how I use my gifts.