Full Moon in Virgo - Wha???

Having stopped blogging for a while for various personal reasons, I wondered what would get me started again. Is it the Full Moon in Virgo today? Is it because the moon's transit hits my natal chart in such a way that I feel compelled to blog? More than likely. Seriously, can astrology have that much of an impact on my life or anyone else's. Yes. How does a full moon impact you? This particular follow moon?

Astrology does make sense. When I look at the various incidents that occurred during the past two years, I cried out at the top of my lungs Sh-t!

Is this particular full moon smacking a you hard? All I know is the whole world is in a state of chaos, and transitions are occuring on micro and macro levels in a volatile manner, much like Tarot's "Tower." Astrologers can look at various charts of countries, people in power, etc. and explain what is going on, and why better than I ever could. I ony know a bit of it from what I intuitively pick up from energy flowing/not flowing, and an occasional flip of at least a half-dozen Tarot cards.

My own life as of late is positioned to make some sort of transition. I'm still weathering the storm by exercising discipline, trust, flexibility, action, and surrendering when I can do no more. This method works for me. Do you have a better way? I'd love to know. Tell me. Post it.

My mother used to say, "All things come to he who waits." My father used to say, "You need to follow through." They both were right to some degree. Aha, it is all about the balance of energies.

For me, this Full Moon in Virgo reminds me that I need to balance my perfectionistic self with my active go-for-it self. My image for today is Bruce Lee at his greatest -- kicking ass for the greater good.

Whatever you do on this full moon, look to see what thoughts, ideas, dreams, prayers, and plans you put into the universe during the last new moon. See how they played out, and then refine your action list for the next new moon. There is nothing more wonderful than seeing your dreams and plans come to fruition.

My favorite expression is "God/Goddess/Creator didn't bring me this far to drop me on my head and abandon me. He just wants me to shift, transform and become the complete person I was meant to be. I still have no idea how long that takes. Oh, yes, it takes a lifetime. Let this full moon be a wishing moon for you too. Let me know your thoughts. Post them here!

Relationships - Finding Lost School Friends

There are times when we reminisce and look back at our past relationships. I do not mean love relationships here, I mean old friendships from Grade School, High School, and/or college. Can you count at least one friendship from each school you attended that has followed you throughout your life? Can you count more than one? Can you kick yourself for losing touch with people you cared about due to procrastination, family interference, educational, career, or life choices? If you can freely admit that you miss some people, or want to know they are OK, please read on.

I met many people throughout my life who do not like to attend their high school reunions because they do not have good memories of those years. I must be the eternal optimist. I have always gone out of my way to be a friend to anyone who needed one -- even if they tossed me aside after their crises had passed. It was at a reunion that I really learned my worth as a human being and how many lives I impacted in a positive way, even if I was not the most positive at the time.

I have always been fond of reunions because it allowed me to reconnect and catch up with a few people -- if only for one night. I also reconnected with a few friends that were very dear to me, but due to life choices we had made, we lost touch over the years. Also, I made friends with people I never had a chance to get to know when I was in school. I really find that I am truly blessed in the number of people whose lives I have the privilege of touching in a positive way.

Take the time to search for someone you lost touch with who meant something to you at some point in your life. Whether you just need to reconnect one time or bring this relationship forward, use the Internet to Google them. Maybe they are Linked-In, on Facebook, or listed on Classmates.com.

I reached out to someone today that I haven't seen in over fifteen years. I hope she reaches back and we have time to catch up. Will our lives be better for the contact? I do not know. I just want to tell her, "Hey, I think of you from time to time and I hope you are happy!"

My message to you is simple ... take time to reach out to someone today ... in a positive way!

Relationships - Asking for Help

Just a quick post today. Are you someone who forgets to ask a friend for help when you need it? Are you the person who would give your shirt off your back to someone who needs it? Did it ever occur to you that one day someone might give you theirs? Are you ashamed to ask someone for help? If you are, more than likely fear keeps you silent.

If you are are a giver, have you learned to receive yet? If not, today may be the beginning of is a special day...as is everyday. Today should be the day you decide or affirm that you will ask for help when you need it. If the person you ask is unable to help in the way that you feel you need it, did they reach back in some way? If the answer is yes, you found a true friend.

When you hear the words "God never gives you more than you can handle," do you wholeheartedly believe it? You need to. Living is about having faith and knowing that if you have extended a hand in the past, someone may extend one to you. While it may not be in the way you expected, it will be in the way you need.

When you need help, do not be ashamed to share your journey with someone or ask for assistance. We are all here to help one another. While we may not always be in the most positive mental or emotional space all the time, do know that those thoughts and feelings are what binds us together in friendship.

Reach out to someone you love, or consider a friend who needs your help, and make their day brighter. If you are not having the best day, reach out to someone so they may help make your day brighter.

Life is to be lived and shared. As my late father used to say, "We are all on borrowed time. Make the most of the time the Creator has given you.

Relationships - Blessings from God/Goddess/Creator

Today, I would like to focus on the blessings we receive from God/Goddess/Creator. We are in the middle of a Mercury retrograde that provides us with one humongous, sneaky wallop. Some retrogrades are mild, some are overtly destructive, and others are...well they are all unique. This is a time when communications get snarled, relationship end, jobs end, relationships start, jobs start, computers act up (and I've had them crash and a few have literally burned), and all sorts of communication snafus may arise.

The day before Mercury went retrograde, I felt on top of the world, that I could do anything and the energy was light and perfect. The next day, I was knocked literally on my bottom. Thus, the flow of energy. So, as the avid surfers in SoCal are looking for that perfect wave, I am just riding the wave of energy moment by moment, day by day.

This past weekend, I was in San Francisco having a wonderful time at SFBATS. I enjoyed the company of my peers living in the wonderful world of Tarot. We explored many different concepts, uses, and the history of Tarot, etc. I felt like I was back in the loving, caring arms of old and new friends. When I looked over my notes from a few of the workshops I attended, I discovered that there were gaping holes in my notes and most of what I wrote down did not make sense. Retrograde? You betcha.

Mercury retrogrades are noted as optimal times to clean up old business and take things low and slow. They should be welcomed because they have a purpose -- to bring us back to ourselves and our humanity. Some of us find it a little difficult to stay focused during these weeks. It can be hard to not let our past come and bite us where we sit. Staying positive and optimistic is not always easy when we look down that dark tunnel with a speck of light at the other end, but we manage.

Today was a special day for me. While taking care of some personal business of mine, I became a bit emotional and shared my thoughts and feelings with the wonderful person on the other end of the telephone. I had spoken to her in the past and I know she deals with a lot of people, so I didn't expect her to remember me personally. I'm just a name and an account number. I thanked her after she put in a request to expedite my application. I don't remember what I said next, but she told me, "You always make me laugh and it brightens my day." I asked her, "You remember me?" She said she remembered my name because the last few times we spoke no matter what my day was like and my concerns, I always made her day. I do that a lot and I don't realize the impact I make on people. I like to make people feel better -- lift their burden. My father wanted me to be a mensch. I guess he got what he wanted, posthumously.

When you open your heart and share your spirit with others, you can make a difference in the world. By performing acts of kindness and support, when someone needs it, you will find that when you are in need, someone will give back to you.

Use this Retrograde energy to remove any people from your life that are toxic so that God/Goddess/Creator can replace that negativity with love, understanding and joy. Sometimes we need reminding that as difficult as life can be at times, a little light shines through and someone gives back to you.

Tell someone you appreciate them today ... and every day.

Relationships - Misunderstandings

Do you realize how important it is to be and have a good friend? Assuming you are there when your friend needs you, are they there when you need them? What happens if you either deliberately or inadvertently say or write something to your friend that hurts their feelings?

Taking it another step further, what happens if you tell your friend the truth and it's not what he or she wants to hear? Perhaps you shared your feelings and your friend misinterpreted your words and intentions? Maybe they reached out to another person for their opinion, and a wedge was then put into your relationship, possibly destroying it forever? That hurts very deeply, I am sure. If your fears and issues had not entered the picture, would this relationship continued to go on unscathed? Probably not. More than likely something else would have come up over time to test this relationship. The issues in relationships are always there. Misunderstandings always happen. It's how we handle them that matters. Take care of yourself and take your time when dealing with your desire to express yourself. You should be able to live comfortably with the results of your verbal or written choices.

My mother used to say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I think she may have been right. No one likes confrontations. No one likes to be wrong. No one likes to feel that they have been taken advantage of, not been given a chance to apologize and have that apology accepted, or be given a chance to explain what they felt, what they did, and why.

The best thing you can do is to be thankful for the experience, understand that possibly your trust and fear issues may have gotten in the way, and maybe there was a good reason everything turned as it did. That's the hardest thing to accept because you may not have the answer to that for some time.

My intuitive and practical suggestions would be to accept that your relationship is no longer the same. This would allow both of you to find your own way in life -- focus on your own stuff and allow each of you to grow in different directions. Over time, you may realize that you had spent more time helping your friend achieve their dreams, and you had let your own languish, or was it the other way around?

Perhaps down the road, enough time and distance will allow you both to reconnect in a positive and forgiving way.

Is there a solution for this? I think so. I recommend learning to be comfortable in your own skin. These types of things will always happen. Own up to your words and know that as long as you live your life with honesty and integrity you can find peace in knowing you tried to do the right thing. In time, perhaps your friend may realize that you were only trying to express yourself, and you wanted to let them know how you felt. In the meantime, say a prayer or two for all of you, send them your love and good wishes for their journey and be grateful for having traveled that road on your journey through life.

Relationships - Mothers

A few days ago, I celebrated the 19th anniversary of my mother's death--her crossing over to the spiritual plane--the other side, if you will. I miss her, but at every turn in my life, there is some glimmer of her having been here. I look in the mirror and see traces of her looking back at me. In my behavior, personality, character traits--good and bad, I see her, too. I am the product of her genetic code to some extent.

I have been ruminating about the role mothers play in everyone's lives. Over the years, I have read cards and palms for hundreds of thousands of people. I have heard many people talk about their mothers and not all of what I heard was favorable. Not all of it was unfavorable either. Our humanity is what makes us who we are.

Now that I have reached the age where I embrace the concept of wisdom and cronehood, I see the relationship between a child and a mother in many different perspectives, and I can understand the various roles a mother (woman) plays in the lives of others.

Some of the roles mothers play are: friendly, loving, nurturing, suffocating, non-existent, toxic, drug- and/or alcohol-addicted, abusive in some way, supportive, aging, ill, and inspirational. Feel free to add your thoughts to this. What role your mother play in your life? Did it change as you did--as you grew older? If your relationship with her wasn't the way you wanted it to be, can you now accept the fact that she did the best she could?

Mothers often they deprive themselves or make sacrifices for their children. I know that there is an art to having and maintaining balance in your life if you have children or are a caretaker to an elderly parent or relative. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to mothering someone; it is a trial and error sort of thing. Babies do not come with instruction manuals.

Were you raised by the woman who gave birth to you? Were you abandoned? Adopted? Raised by a family member? Were you abused by whomever raised you? Did you raise yourself? What was your situation? Have you grown to be a positive contributing person to society as a result of your upbringing? I hope so.

Your obligation in life is to take the lessons you learned from the person who mothered or raised you, without blaming them for your shortcomings. Praise them for what they have done to help you become the person you are today, even if that was by abandoning you or abusing you.

My mother was a blamer. There are times, I blame people for things in my life. When I catch myself doing this, I stop, apologize, and ask to be forgiven. I hate being a blamer. However, I know that when someone has done something to me and I want to blame them for what happened, I look at myself to see why I allowed the situation to evolve the way it did and why I feel the way I do.

I acknowledge that I am a direct product my mother's programming and the programming of all people I encountered in my life. While I wish I had been more street-smart and less naive when I was growing up, I forged relationships based upon what I learned from her directly and indirectly. My lack of awareness when I was younger prevented me from making certain decisions. I have accepted the fact that I am the way I am. Any changes I make now depend upon how I re-program myself. I am a work in progress.

My mother knew how to squeeze a penny until it cried "please let me go!" She was beyond frugal. I am less frugal, but I also learned how to not deny myself things that I really, really want because of her. I learned to value things and I know what is necessary in my life and what is not. I understand her better now, and I have have a strong knowledge of life cycles--how things shift and change, and how we need to adapt and go with the flow.

While there is much I still need to learn, I credit my integrity and survival instincts to having been my mother's daughter, and I take responsibility for my actions. Unlike my mother, I am a square peg and I will not fit into a round hole. I will not make myself ill trying to please another person. I accept myself as a product of her belief systems and standards. I have also chosen to re-write the beliefs and standards that no longer serve me.

Regardless of your mother's shortcomings, addictions, issues, fears, etc. it is up to you to change your life for the better, and do the best you can with what you have experienced in order to live your life for yourself. Surround yourself with loving, supportive people and let the others go away, or send them away. How you handle these situations are unique unto you. Do the best you can with positive thoughts and work through your pain and anger. I know it is best to focus on positive thoughts and experiences only, so you can attract positive energy to you. What if you cannot? How do you process your pain, feelings of abuse and betrayal until you get to the point where you can let it go? Please comment and share them here.

Relationships - Staying Too Long at the Fair

I love to use the quote, "I stayed too long at the fair," when discussing relationships during the course of a reading. Four of the reasons people stay in relationships too long center around fear, love, trust and control issues.

Everyone in a love-oriented relationship wants to feel loved and secure. The desire to live happily ever after takes a lot of work, but there are times where no matter what you do, a relationship needs to end. How do we know when it is time to pull the plug? Is it easy to admit that a relationship is no longer viable? Can we acknowledge that we failed? Most people do not want to admit failure because that implies guilt and blame. If we can get past our emotions and not play (or stop playing) the blame game, we may realize that even though we love someone, we may have to say goodbye because our relationship no longer works. We are no longer happy.

Did we change? Is our partner resistant to change? Did we both change and discover that we no longer want the same things? People are unique and complicated. Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. Each piece will fit perfectly next to two or more pieces, but all of the pieces need to be present to create a complete picture. The more complicated the picture, the longer it will take for us to put all the pieces together properly. There are people in the world who do not have the patience to wait for things to come together. Others discover that not all of the pieces will fit together--an important piece is missing. I like to refer to this situation as an eight of cups moment. In Tarot, one of the simplest interpretations of this card is: walking away to seek what is missing. Searching for fulfillment or taking a chance so that one can find what one needs.

When is love no longer enough to keep two people together? There are some people who know when to leave a relationship before it gets ugly. Others leave when it gets ugly, and there are a few who stay no matter what.

Depending on your age or life experiences you enter into relationships for reasons that are unique to you. I know the type of man I would have chosen as my significant other in my early twenties is not the type of person I would choose today. We change and evolve. We become wiser. If our partners change and evolve in the same direction that we do, we are most fortunate. If not, then we enter the market again and search for the next suitable partner. This should be an adventure--a quest to find love. It is not an easy journey. This may be why some people stay in unhealthy relationships.

Life happens. We lose jobs. If our parents are still alive, we may need to become their caretakers. Children still need a good education in order to succeed in the world. Sometimes we may need to go back to school in order to re-educate ourselves because the work environment has forced us out of our comfort zone. Perhaps we were not really comfortable but we were marking time--waiting for our next opportunity. Often we stay in jobs we hate or that make us ill because we need financial security. Even our nest eggs (if we have them) may take a hit when the economy dips, or we lose our jobs. We worry about our future and those who depend upon us. We need to persevere because that is what we must do. No one has it easy all the time. We should never give up living when life deal us a particularly difficult hand. However, when it comes to relationships, we may have to give up. Knowing when to call it a day is not always easy.

Where am I going with this line of thinking? To the heart of the matter. It does not matter how much you love someone and how much they love you. If you are not getting what you need from a relationship, you need to take a moment to figure out what you want and what you are willing to settle for or accept from your partner. Have one or both of you stopped communicating? Are you the one who is closed off? Do you find yourself eating more, drinking more, smoking more, needing anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication because you are not getting what you need in this relationship? Is your partner doing this?

If this sounds like you, you need to make a list of the advantages of staying in this relationship and the advantages of leaving. Do the same thing with the disadvantages of both. Write down what is keeping you tied to your partner besides love or the amount of time you both have invested in this relationship.

Are you trying to control the outcome or fix this relationship by yourself? Is that what your partner is trying to do this? Recognize that when one person is finished, the relationship is finished. Stop trying to convince yourself that the other person can change. The only person who can change is you.

If you are in a situation where you may need to end a relationship, here are a few more things to think about. 1) Would you be happier with or without this person? 2) Can you get what you want from this relationship? 3) Are you able to give your partner what they need without resentment?

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you or someone you know who may be staying too long at the fair. If you have any ideas, comments or thoughts about this chapter in my Relationship Insight Series, I look forward to hearing them, responding to them, and I may possibly include them in a future blog entry.