Unconditional Love and Boundaries

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I needed a day to reflect on what I wanted to say regarding this day of celebration. Today, I found my voice...

Over the years, I have met several Zen Buddhists who were able to live on what I call "the edge." They were able to completely love and trust everyone that they encountered on a day-to-day basis. They appeared to be in a state of bliss. It is unimportant whether or not they used drugs or alcohol to arrive at, or maintain their calm, Zen-like state of being. Where are they now? What are they doing? If they are still Zen-like, where has their life led them? I wonder. Because I am a practical, intuitive, creative person, I find that I cannot be Zen-like for very long. I have moments. They come and go. I cannot trust everyone, but I can love unconditionally—with boundaries.

Within the past week, I experienced several situations that have made me revisit the concept of unconditional love regarding mothers. My mother was wonderful, but she made a lot of choices that were detrimental to my well being. I believe she had good intentions. She was not externally warm and I was a hugging, kissing little girl who always wanting to learn and share what I learned. When I came home from school, I often found her cooking dinner. I sat on the footstool in the kitchen chattering away about what I learned in school, my classmates, and many of the hurts I endured from being different. She listened. Many years later when I asked her about it, she said, "I just let you talk it made you feel better. I guess she never really "heard" what I said or truly understood me, but she did know that I needed to talk—get things off my chest.

She was cut from the mold where you lied to your children to either protect them or get them to behave. I know many people who have raised their children this way. I know she wanted the best for daughters, but I was not like my sister. I have always danced to my own drummer, defied convention and fought for right and wrong--the underdog and in often cases, was the underdog. Because of this, I have always sought the life of service—providing wise guidance to help people heal their wounds. I use my intuitive abilities (often with Tarot cards) and with the guidance of spirits, angels and other helpful entities to make the best choices in my personal life. These guides are always on board to help me provide my clients, and those who I am privileged to read for, with as much information as possible. It is all about making choices. I believe if we approach any conflict or negative situation regarding our mothers with love and understanding, we will at least feel that we have done our best. It is about relating to one another, listening and trying to understand each other’s point of view. Sometime it doesn’t work.

As a daughter, I always wanted to buy a special present for my mother on Mother’s Day. When I asked her what she wanted, she always said, “I want a good girl.” The message that she gave me with that statement made me feel that I was not a good girl and I made Herculean efforts throughout my life to be honest, ethical and more than a good person. It took me a long time to understand her. She used that statement to control me and to get me to do what she wanted me to do. Needless to say, something in side of me fought her tooth and nail. Several years before she died, I asked her what she would like for a Mother’s Day present. She always said, “Save your money.” Once a bookkeeper, always a bookkeeper! When I did buy her presents, I could see how moved she was. Yes, she was raised the same way she raised me.

I learned unconditional love from my cats. No matter how they behave, I love them, forgive them, and treat them beautifully because they are unselfish and know how to give love and comfort. I also love my friends the same way—unconditionally. No matter what choices they may make, or how much we may disagree on various things, we are always there for one another and our differences help us to grow and become better people.

While I would like to love everyone in the world unconditionally, I know I live on the planet earth. It would be very foolish for anyone to love or trust strangers unconditionally. That’s where intuition and common sense come in handy. We really don’t need to love the whole world and all of the creatures on it. We just need to learn to understand and accept our differences. Boundaries help to keep relationships healthy.

Just before my mother died in 1991, I asked her, “When did you finally accept the choices I made for my career?” She replied, “When I knew no matter what I said or did you were going to do what you wanted to do.” I was 38 at the time. Yesterday was Mother's Day. I still love my mother…unconditionally.

Retrograde Mercury-Bringing the Past Forward

The "demoted" Planet Mercury goes retrograde on May 6th and lasts through May 30th. The best thing you can do for yourself is to back up your computer. There is quite a bit of information available on the Internet about Mercury retrograde, so I will just stick to the basics. Because Mercury rules communication, (emails, mail, phone calls, deliveries, etc.) things can go a bit haywire. People can lose jobs, relationships break up, packages get sent to wrong addresses, and the list goes on. (I avoid ordering anything that needs to be sent via UPS during this time period unless absolutely necessary. Why? Because I have had packages lost, stolen and misdirected.) I have lost emails and data when computers crashed and burned under Mercury retrogrades. Last year, the one I used at the office fried. Why that one and not my home computer? Because my home computer was a "new" one. My worst Mercury retrogrades tend to be the ones in January. So, I am hoping this one is a bit easier than the others.

PRECAUTIONS
What can you do to help yourself? Back up your computer. Make sure you are clear when you communicate with others. Being on the same page is very important. Follow up with people to make sure your faxes or emails are received. Check your calendar to make certain you don't miss appointments or deadlines. Don't start any new projects. Don't sign any legal documents unless absolutely necessary, and then make sure everything is crystal clear. Be extra careful driving. I think you have the general idea about how to work with this type of energy.

ADVANTAGES
What can you do under Mercury retrograde that would be advantageous? This is a time to do your spring cleaning. Get rid of what you don't need/want. Reconnect with people from your past. I started doing that a few days ago. I found a drawer full of business cards from 1995-1996. I have been scouring the Internet trying to find if the addresses/businesses of these entrepreneurs are still valid so I can reconnect and network with them again. While some of them now have thriving businesses, others have found new careers or jobs, and some have disappeared altogether.

The gift of this time period is reconnection. I started reconnecting to people a few days ago and the rewards are unbelievable. While time has, indeed, moved foward, it also appears to stand still (Mercury stationpoint). With this retrograde, I can bring the past into the present and make a new future for myself. I hope you can do the same. The rewards are amazing. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a long time. You will make their day--or not, depending on the relationship. We all can use a bit of karma cleaning, too! Do you have a Mercury retrograde story you wish to share? I'd love to hear it.

High Priestess--Finding your Place in the World

While I felt the need to use an oracle deck of Doreen Virtue's today, I was instead directed to use the Goddess Knowledge Cards by artist Susan Seddon Boulet with text by Michael Babcock. While I was looking for insight outside of myself to share, I was directed to go within, yet again. I have often thought of myself as the Empress--an aspect of mother earth and I still do. However, I am now being nudged, nay, shoved into the role of High Priestess. No matter what type of Oracle or Tarot deck I use, I am always brought back into the world of Tarot. In Susan's painting I can see several of the major elements of Tarot's High Priestess--the Torah, the moon, the veil of the temple, the pillars--Boaz and Jakin, and a pomegranate. If there are other elements present, I cannot make them out as the symbolism is so beautifully integrated into the painting.

Michael's text refers to the High Priestess as the direct representative of the goddess on earth. "She has direct responsibility for functions that ensure fertility and ongoing creation." I believe that also sums up the Empress in many ways. The High Priestess in Tarot is the maiden aspect of the triple moon goddess while the Empress is the mother aspect. Michael further states, "The High Priestess is a reminder of the innate wisdom in each of us. She demands that we connect to the divine spark within and manifest it in the world." Too bad she doesn't inform us of the difficulties that we may encounter in our efforts to succeed at manifesting, once we have connected to that spark.

My mother told me, "You are a square peg in a round hole. You need to conform and fit in." I have tried to fit into the world--the corporate world. Like many individuals, working in this environment can be stifling, next to impossible, and incredibly stressful. Creative and intuitive people need to find ways to adapt in order to survive. The need to make a living while pursuing their dreams is important--now more than ever. Yes, the spark within can lead to the discovery of an untapped dream, or one that we pushed aside for whatever reason we felt was important at the time. Can we manifest those dreams now? Yes? No?

Investigate, plan and never give up until you find a way to make your dream(s) come true. Once you connect to the spark within, your journey is half over. The next step is creating or finding an opportunity. Consult with the High Priestess within and find your next assignment, or create your own place...for the moment. However long you need to remain on your next assignment really doesn't matter. What matters is listening to the voice within--without over analyzing. If you can do that, you are letting the High Priestess do her job without complications.

Catalyst for Change

For the past two days, I have felt a lightness in the air. I think it was caused by a combination of things--the planet Venus is now direct and the weather in Los Angeles has been sunny and warm--reminiscent of a lovely summer day. I love this feeling--this energy. I am connected to myself--my past and present all at once. It is like I am on fire! My passion for living, breathing and accomplishing things has been re-ignited. Is it because I'm a spring baby? Perhaps. Is it because things begin in the spring--seeds are planted? Maybe. Is it magic? I hope so. What do you think?

Yesterday, the energy in the air was reminiscent of when I had a meeting with my agent in April 1994. He was interested in managing me as a psychic and wanted to be a producer. He talked about developing a talk show for me. He disappeared just before I moved, six months later, and the show never happened.

I am grateful for the agent's appearance in my life. He was my catalyst for change. I had a "feeling" about moving to Los Angeles in 1980. The air yesterday and today had the same energy for me. If I were an astrologer, I am certain I could recognize the various energies in this cycle and interpret them accordingly.

Gratitude. While things may not be working out the way I would like them to in my personal life, I have the wisdom to know that all will be revealed in time and that I should not dwell upon the past. Things happen for reasons we may/may not understand. We draw negative and positive energies to us for a myriad number of reasons. We often regret the choices we make or don't make. Today is a day, of acceptance that all things good, bad and indifferent can be used as catalysts for change. If we take a moment to assess our lives--the situations with which we are involved, and trust the universe, we can rise above any obstacles that we may encounter. All it takes is a little hope, optimism, fire and faith.

Are you willing to be a catalyst for your own changes?

The Swan

Synchronicity brought the image of the swan to me this morning. An email I received from my friend, Pat Serafin, contained the attached picture. The story of "The Ugly Duckling" came to mind when I viewed it. Many of us go through life looking at the world and wanting to fit in--to belong. We want to be loved and appreciated for our unique selves. That does not generally happen. What do we do instead? We strive to conform in order to be accepted and not humiliated. We adopt defense mechanisms in order to protect ourselves. It takes many years to learn how and when to lower our defenses and trust, but the damage done during our early childhood and adolescent years sometimes take a lifetime to overcome. It's all about self-esteem.

Today Spirit directed me to use Medicine Cards. After shuffling briefly, I pulled the Swan. The swan is all about Grace, accepting your intuitive abilities and surrendering to self-transformation. Swan medicine.

Spirit is taking me into more than one direction, today. I received several emails containing the YouTube performance of Susan Boyle's rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" from "Les Miserables" on "Britain's Got Talent 2009." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

I have listened to it several times and I am totally moved by the beauty of her singing voice--her instrument. Her ability to interpret this powerful song brought me to tears every time I played the clip. If you are fortunate enough to see the 7 minute version of this show (link listed above), you can see how the audience originally judged her based upon her appearance. After she began to sing, the audience was so moved that they suspended all thoughts and judgments. They were transported to a wonderful place and experienced something phenomenal. Susan Boyle is swan. She finally has her chance at a singing career. I am guessing they will also give her a makeover--a little powder and paint, a nice hairstyle and perhaps a little haircolor, too. That would be nice for her.

This brings me to the subject of skin-deep beauty--our youth-chasing world! Botox, Juvederm, Restylane, Radiesse and other injectables are used to combat character lines and aging. Apparently, the media and society continue to tell us that we are not young enough, pretty enough, thin enough or rich enough. Mother Nature finds beauty in all ages and all creatures. When I look in the mirror, I see an older version of myself. I see the vertical lines forming around my mouth, a few wrinkles here, and there and my favorite, the crinkles around my eyes. A good moisturizer helps, but would I do anything to alter my face with the toxins everyone else is rushing to use? Absolutely not! I really enjoy seeing how I have aged both mentally, physically and emotionally. My college education in biology and chemistry has not been wasted. It has taught me that anything you do chemically to a biological system will have not only the desired effect, but it will also create problems--unwanted side effects. I keep my skincare regime simple, and fortunately I have benefitted from staying out of the sun. What example would I present to the world and to the people who come to me for a reading if I altered my appearance? Not a good one, I am sure.

I am fortunate that I have the ability to read into people's souls when I work events reading Tarot cards, Palms or objects. It is my responsibilty to help that person with their issues in a positive life-affirming way while providing entertainment. Do you have any idea what it is like to read for someone and their forehead never moves? Eyes, faces and energies used to match. That is not always the case anymore. When I work certain events, I can see the good/bad injectables and sometimes a little nip and tuck. This is when I shut off my brain and I trust the information I receive from Spirit.

What is my point today? It's about becoming a Swan--self-transformation with grace. It's also about self-esteem and just putting it out there to live your dream. It's about looking your best. It could also be a reason to complain about toxic injectables too. Most definitely.

Eight plus one equals nine

Simple mathematics teaches us to add numbers together in order to get a sum--a total. Tarot cards can provide us with a couple of different ways in which we can interpret a pair of cards. When I was contemplating employment opportunities this morning, two cards (Universal Waite deck) came out to visit me. I welcomed the 8 of cups and the ace (or 1) of cups. Using simple mathematics, as mentioned above, provides us with the formula 8 of cups + 1 of cups = 9 of cups. How sweet. Nine of cups is the gluttonous wish card.

On the 8 of cups card we see a man walking away from a stack of cups. We see the moon illuminating the sun. Depending on the actual situation, he may be walking away from something, or walking toward something. What matters is that he is on a journey to find emotional fulfillment or to fulfill a need that is emotionally driven. If he is unemployed, he may be seeking a new job. If he is unhappy in his job, he may be contemplating a new start that may fulfill him. Just because the card shows movement does not mean he will take that journey. He may look at his options and decide to stay put.

The moon illuminating the sun further reminds us that his movement that is tied to his emotions. He needs to take his emotions and feelings into account when choosing his path. With the positioning of the cups on the card, it is obvious that something is missing. Add the ace of cups to the 8 of cups, and we can see that he is walking toward the missing cup.

If we view the ace as the missing piece, it shows us that he is walking toward a new beginning--the holy grail overflowing with water--emotion and fluidity. The cup is held by a hand reaching out from the clouds. A dove holding a cross is strategically placed over the the opening of the cup. The images contained in the ace provide him with validation, hope and optimism. This is a winning combination of numbers. Why? If we do the math, 8 of cups + 1 of cups = 9 of cups--completion, or the wish card.

The ace is the missing piece in his life. He should pursue the ace of cups--see his life as potentially full of love, happiness and all of those emotionally positive experiences so he can use the wish card (9 of cups) to help him manifest what he wants--employment-wise, or in other areas of his life.

While these cards were chosen for employment options, I believe they can be used for any other type of situation where something may be missing from someone's life.

What do you think? Would you be willing to move forward in order to find out what you may be missing?

...and the Angels Speak

As I opened my box of traditional "Angel Cards" looking for a message for today, one card stared at me--openly, brazenly and with humor. The word was PLAY. When we were children our idea of what constitutes PLAY changed as we became adults.

For me, PLAY is my work--my passion--reading Tarot, palms, coffee grounds, and objects. However, I often forget that playing a computer game is PLAY and not wasting time. As an adult, PLAY should be viewed as a release of energy that helps center us in some way--or provides balance. We must make time to lighten our energy in order to release stress.

This leads me to the next two cards which came out to PLAY together--BALANCE and FLEXIBILITY. It's about balancing our lives--making room for PLAY without feeling guilty or unproductive. We should find a way to incorporate some sort of PLAY into our day. That would create BALANCE.

FLEXIBILITY works with BALANCE. FLEXIBILITY allows movement; it keeps things lively--in motion. If we have complete BALANCE, we risk becoming bored and our lives could become stagnant. BALANCE should have movement. Without movement, there is no growth. The words FLEXIBILITY and BALANCE bring to mind the Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot deck. While the wheel may spin, it does not always stop in a "good place," but it is a good reminder that equilibrium is key to staying positive.

The next angel card that appeared was one bringing ABUNDANCE. Today, she reminds us that we should never ask for ABUNDANCE alone. This could lead to an ABUNDANCE of things that we do not want in our lives. We should, instead, ask for ABUNDANCE of all good things, or ABUNDANCE of the positive things we want to experience. We must be specific when we use broad words. To explain this further, I was provided with two more words from the Angels: POWER and BIRTH. It is about using your personal POWER to give BIRTH to yourself. It's about creating the life you want to live. It's about using your mind, heart and soul along with the hand you were dealt to find a way to manifest the quality of life you want, and to do the work you were born to do. In other words, use POWER to give BIRTH to yourself, your projects, etc.

Use your POWER wisely, my friends, in order to bring ABUNDANCE of all good things into your lives. It's about creating magic in a loving, empowering way.

The message/lesson from the angels today consists of PLAY, BALANCE and FLEXIBILITY, ABUNDANCE, and POWER and BIRTH. They tell us to remember to play and enjoy each day. Find a way to BALANCE your life so that you are productive and maintain FLEXIBILITY. Ask for ABUNDANCE by using your personal POWER to give BIRTH to whatever you need to make your life better without trying to control the outcome.

Today is a day to create magic by lightening your heart, mind and spirit.